We had two parties for Lila, one with Matt's family and one with my family. We had so much fun. Thanks to all those to came and thanks to all the birthday wishes. :) My mom got her this adorable "birthday outfit". It says "I'm the birthday girl" and came with this crown with the number 1 on it. SO cute! I can not believe this little girl is one year old already! Is is now finally 16 pounds and 7 ounces! She is gettin' up there. ;) She is back on the chart, in the 1 percentile. Kind of makes me giggle.
This last year has been one of the hardest years for me. Not only has our family under gone a major change by welcoming a new member, but that new member has come with a lot of trails. I know as mothers, wives, and women we are all so busy. But this last year I feel like I have never been busier. Not necessarily busy with going places and doing things, but with taking care of the kids. Lucas turned three this year. You always hear how hard the "Terrible Twos" are. Well, thats a piece of cake. Three is TOUGH! Lucas is now potty trained, and has been for several months. He stopped napping (which took away a lot of my "free" time, or time to clean and get things done). He also doesn't sleep well at nights either. In fact we will be preforming a sleep study on him in June to see what the problem is.
Lila has been such a challenge for me. It is hard to say that because she is such a sweetheart. She has such a funny and delightful personality. But is also very dramatic and feisty. She has had a few health concerns this year the latest one involves doing a development assessment with an early intervention organization to determine if she needs a more 'physical therapy' approach to her development. She has had several ear infections, leading to tubes in her ears. She has had acid reflux - not a big deal, but it just adds to it all. Losing weight and struggling to gain it back. And her gross motor skills are lacking. All of which are not "big" concerns, and I am so thankful for that. It is just the constant repeat of the 'little' things that wears on me. All medical concerns aside: Lila has an attitude! She wants what she wants and she better get it right now! She fights for what she wants, and it is hilarious; though we are trying to teach her she doesn't need to act like that. She has cried the majority of her life, but I will say it has gotten MUCH better now the tubes are in place and the infections are gone. Yippee!
This last year I have gained a deep respect for all mothers. I am particularly thankful for my mother. I don't know about anyone else, but after I had Lucas I became SO much closer to my mom. She has been wonderful. She listens to me cry, she gives me advice, she gets excited about Lila gaining weight or Lucas sleeping through the night. She has become such an amazing friend. Not only have I learned from my mom on Earth, but I am lucky enough to have another mother who has passed on. My momma Jeanie is a huge influence in my life. I don't remember her much, or at all really. I never really felt like I knew who she was as a person. But I have felt so close to her this last year. I feel like I have my mom on Earth who is helping here, and when she can't help I have another mom who can. I feel my mothers presence often. I fell like I am closer to her now than I could have been otherwise. It is as if she is here comforting me and guiding me. I feel her love for me and for my children. It is important to me that they know who she is and that one day they understand that she helped me raise them.
This last year I have relied on the Lord more than I ever have before. I have learned so much about family, about being a mom, and about myself. I have really enjoyed reading/listening to all the conference talks about women and mothers. On my rough days I turn on my ipod and randomly select a talk. I know my Father is looking out for me- more often than not the talks I listen to, are about mothers. I know that being a mom is such a sacred and special calling. I feel so blessed that my Father has trusted me to watch over these little ones. Raising my children is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I imagine being a mom is the hardest thing I will ever do. But there is NO where I would rather be, no life I would rather live, and no amount of money that I would rather have than to be with my children everyday. I love them.
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